wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize