I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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