You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize