we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
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Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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