on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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