her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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