And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
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He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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