he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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