I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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