he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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