The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize