so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize