Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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