Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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