Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize