I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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