Barsexuality is the new black.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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