Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My butt remains clenched, sir.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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