thus making me awesome and them whores
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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