i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize