Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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