I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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