Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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