Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
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Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
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my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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