Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I think my fart just growled at me.
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Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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