The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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