Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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