Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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