You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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