those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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