im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize