gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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