and she was petting her beer can
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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