How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize