i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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