youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize