It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize