I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
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It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
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It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize