Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize