drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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