I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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