This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
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