"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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