just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
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In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
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