i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
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