Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
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And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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