Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
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found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
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Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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