I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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