I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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