im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize